This week something strange happened.
Our website came under a DDoS attack.
If you’ve never heard of this concept, it’s when someone floods a website with huge amounts of traffic trying to find weaknesses in its defences. Sometimes they’re trying to hack the site, sometimes they’re just trying to overwhelm it so it crashes.
Either way, I found myself sitting there watching the attack happen live.
Requests pouring in. Thousands of them.
And strangely, while I was dealing with it, I realised something…
This is exactly what happens to our emotional state.
Step One: Recognise You’re Under Attack
The first thing I did when the attack started was activate what’s called “under attack mode.”
That setting shuts the gates.
Every visitor gets checked before they’re allowed through.
Bots, spam traffic, suspicious requests — all of it gets filtered out before it reaches the website.
And that’s exactly the skill many of us are missing emotionally.
In life we often go straight into reaction mode.
- Someone says something.
- Someone presses a button.
- Social media throws something at us.
And suddenly our emotions spike.
Anger. Anxiety. Stress.
But the real skill is the ability to pause and say:
“Hang on… what’s actually happening here?”
That moment is like switching your mind into under attack mode.
It stops everything flooding straight into your emotional system.
Step Two: Go Into Observer Mode
Once the website was protected, I didn’t panic.
Instead, I watched.
I literally observed what was coming through.
- Where the traffic was coming from.
- What patterns were forming.
- What types of attacks were happening.
And that’s exactly what observer mode does for us emotionally.
Instead of reacting, you watch.
You ask:
- Why did that comment trigger me?
- Why did that situation upset me?
- What story am I telling myself about what just happened?
Because most of the time the emotion isn’t caused by the event.
It’s caused by the story running in our head.
Step Three: Build Your Emotional Firewall
Once I could see how the attack was happening, I started building rules.
Little firewall rules.
Rules that say:
“This type of traffic is not allowed through.”
And those rules mean that even when I take the site out of “attack mode”, those same attacks can’t get through anymore.
We can do exactly the same thing with our emotional state.
When you understand your triggers, you can start building boundaries.
You rewrite the false stories.
You decide:
- What behaviour you’ll tolerate
- What behaviour you won’t
- Which situations deserve your energy
- And which ones don’t
That’s your emotional firewall.
When Narcissists Are Involved
Now there’s one situation where this becomes harder.
Narcissistic people.
Because narcissists don’t just attack once.
They keep coming back and pressing the same buttons over and over again.
But even there, observer mode is incredibly powerful.
When you watch rather than react, something interesting happens.
You start to see the patterns.
You see the manipulation.
And once you see it clearly, it becomes much easier to build boundaries that protect you.
Most “Emotional Attacks” Aren’t Real
The biggest lesson from this week surprised me.
Watching the website traffic, I saw thousands of small attacks coming in.
Spam. Bots. Garbage traffic.
But none of it was getting through.
And it made me realise something about life.
Most of the emotional stress we feel isn’t coming from real danger.
It’s coming from noise.
Comments. Opinions. Expectations. Social media. Old stories running in our heads.
But when you build the right emotional firewall, those things simply don’t reach you anymore.
You see them.
But they don’t disturb your peace.
Protecting the True You
At the end of the week, I’ll be honest — I felt a bit tired.
But I also felt stronger.
Because now if another attack happens, I know exactly how to deal with it.
And that’s what emotional resilience does for us too.
Every time you observe a trigger…
Every time you rewrite a false story…
Every time you put a boundary in place…
You strengthen the protection around your true self.
And slowly, you stop letting people hack your peace.
If you’re on this journey of self-awareness, emotional resilience, and discovering the real you underneath the stories — I just want to say I see you.
It’s not always easy work.
But it’s incredibly powerful.
And I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever noticed someone pressing your emotional buttons?
What helped you protect your peace?
Feel free to share in the comments.
